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Srewsswd out squirrel

Stress Is Holding On For Dear Life

Sometimes life’s stresses hit so hard it can blast you out of the water – but only if you let it. Usually we see that truth in others easier than we do in our own lives.

“He was afraid to move. I could not tell if he was still alive. He held on for dear life.”

Have you ever felt so overwhelmed that you were afraid to let go of whatever dream or fantasy you held close to your heart?

Were you ever too afraid to let go lest it slip away forever?

“The wind blew furiously, as it usually does when you live on a ridge. On the rail of my deck a squirrel lay motionless. I hoped I would not have to deal with yet another dead animal on my property, especially on my deck. And I knew there would be no clear answer until the wind stopped or at least died down – which did not happen that night.

Much to my relief the squirrel no longer perched on the deck rail the next morning. No bodies in the yard. Just the usual scamper of little squirrel feet over my roof.

He had something to hold on to. That something got him through the stormy weather – the high winds, the thunder and lightning. He knew not to move. Frankly I am certain he would have been blown clear off the deck had to tried to scamper off.

As it was, he lay there absolutely still, hunkered down to allow the storm to blow literally over him.”

Sometimes you give up on your dreams. When the going gets tough and obstacles present themselves most people turn away from their dreams. The suppress them so deeply – eventually they completely give up on ever even attempting to fulfill on what may have been a lifelong desire or unfathomable urge to live or do something important.

Stress takes it toll – but only when you allow it to take over your life.

No one can take away your dreams. No one can force you to struggle through each day or keep you awake at night worrying and anxious about…

About what?

What prevents you from falling asleep at night? What theme occupies most of your daytime and definitely bedtime thoughts?

Do you feel adrift at sea in desperate need of a lifesaver? Only there is no one to throw it to you. In fact, as far as you can tell, there are no life savers out there – at least not for you.

If you decided to you could tread water until you make it safely ashore. Heck, when you decide you can make it through the blocks and forge onward to your dreams then you will hold tight. You will grab on to the log floating by. You will float down stream easily in the direction of your dreams.

Your tenacious grasp, your never giving in or giving up allows you to weather the storm.

You know, even in the darkest storm, the sun shines. All you have to do is rise above the clouds to see it!

Change: How To Make the Changes You Know You Want To Make

You know you want to make some life changes. Your life is not working out quite the way you expected it to. You are not at the place you planned to be by this point. Happiness eludes you.

Congratulations on knowing you need to take different actions than what you have so far in order to achieve new and different outcomes. After all, if you keep doing what you’ve always done then you’ll keep getting what you’ve always gotten.

Great. So you know you want to change. The questions is how in the world do you make those changes? How do you step out of your box and walk a new path?

How do you teach an old dog new tricks? One step at a time.

First decide what you want to change. How will your life look, what will your daily experience be like when you live with the new habits in place?

My guess is your list of desired changes includes more than one behavior. The thing is you will not succeed at all if you jump into many different new behaviors at once.

The only thing you will experience is overwhelm. And overwhelm quickly leads to quitting.

To really live the life you dream about you want to be persistent and consistent in acting on new behaviors while ceasing to perform all the behaviors that keep you stuck.

Sounds simple. The trick to accomplishing that desired result is to take just one small step at a time.

Start today by doing just one small action differently from how you used to do it. If you put your left pants leg on first then today put your right pants leg on first. If you take a right turn out of your driveway when you leave home then starting today make a left turn and create a new way to your destination. (Get the metaphor?)

You can do one small thing easily, right? You can commit to making one small change and follow through consistently, yes? I am talking about one thing.

Decide which one thing you will change this week and do it every day for a week and then, after successfully adding this one new small change – then add a second new small change.

If, for any reason, you find yourself forgetting to continue with either of the new behaviors then go back to doing just one.

You want to consistently repeat the new behavior for at least 28 consecutive days to instill a new habit. If two new action steps work then do two as described above.

Give yourself time. Remember that slow and steady gets you there – often more dependably than quick and impetuous. With each small success you feel encouraged to create another success with another new behavior.

As you see your stress level drop you will find all the motivation you need to continue on the slow and steady path to living in happiness now. I invite you to get quick stress relief to assist you on that new path by getting your FREE copy of my Special Report: 25 Tips To Eliminate Stress Now by filling in your name and email in the box on the right.

Stress: It’s Not What Is Going On, It’s How You Feel About What is Going On

When you feel really overwhelmed, like there is no way out, remember that you are reacting to your interpretation of the situation and not to the situation itself.

Somebody else in that same situation, or even you at a different time, may not even notice anything heavy duty going on in the moment.

How can that happen? Your state of mind determines your interpretation of what is happening. Your interpretation will either make you feel good or bad. Good can be happy or at peace. Bad can be angry, sad or full out stressed.

In any case it is how you use your imagination that determines your interpretation of the current circumstances. Yes current, in this moment – not yesterday, not even an hour ago. The past is gone. The only time you have is this moment. So you can only act in this moment.

And what you think about determines how you feel which causes you to take certain actions. And after you take those actions you again look at the new situation and decide (by thinking) how you feel now. You continue the cycle of think, feel, act.

What can you do, with that knowledge, to move out of overwhelm and stress and into a feel good place where you can live permanently with only brief visits to the stress you now endure?

Did you say to change your thoughts? Seems pretty obvious, don’t you think?

When your life fails to look the way you want it to look would it make any sense to keep taking the same actions every day? Why would they take you to a different place tomorrow, or the next day if you they never led you there before?

Perpetuating a routine that fails to serve you or move you to a better place makes zero sense. But how do you step outside the box to create all new thoughts, feelings and actions?
Einstein said, “You cannot solve a problem with the mind that created it.” Okay then what do you do?
Find someone who already lives the way you want to live and copy what they do. By copying their actions you begin to think the way they think. Obviously choose a role model who lives stress-free if you want to live stress-free.
Ah, note that different people have different definitions of stress and therefore different ways of living stress-free. So your first task is to define what stress is for you and then to figure out how your world will look when you live without stress.

Stress-Free Living Requires Conscious Living

Stress-free living requires you to consciously stay focused in the present moment and pay attention to your thoughts. You know your thoughts by monitoring your feelings.

I tell my clients that I never ask anything of them I have not been through or done myself. Since I have survived some major traumas in my own life and had to come back from nearly dying I do know how hard life can be.

Ah, hard if you choose to live in struggle and stress.

I find myself frequently needing to take care of crisis situations. Those moments keep me on my toes and, most important, they keep me sharp making me walk my talk.

Hmm. Why do I create such situations? Well, let’s see, I tell people I never ask anything of them I have not done myself. That is huge clue!

To stop putting myself into varied stressful situations I need to drop that line from my repertoire. No kidding!

You may think I am being silly here. But when I speak or write those words I am sending a clear message to my own subconscious mind and to the Universe that I need to keep experiencing challenges so I will be able to say, “Been there. Done tha,.”  regardless of the client’s situation.

That whole notion is really no different than thinking, as a psychotherapist, you have to suffer from every possible disorder before you can assist anyone in healing from that disorder.

What a ludicrous thought. Yet no more out there than what I put out to the Universe pretty regularly.

I know how the body, mind, spirit system work. I do not need to suffer any conditions or setbacks or stress at all –unless I need to learn more life lessons (which I do). In fact, if my own well being is not fully charged with love I can be pretty much useless at helping someone heal.

Make sense?

I know how the body/mind attracts stressful situations to itself. But only when I remember to stay present and live and act consciously in this moment can I be truly stress-free.

And I can continue to create these new thought patterns that keep me focused in the now rather than repeat the past stuck behaviors.

All I have to do is catch myself experiencing overwhelm or pressure to recognize I am not living in the present moment. Then I come back and make a decision to replace those other thoughts with pleasant ones that fail to make me feel bad.
Eliminating stress is as simple as creating new habits. It all starts with your thoughts.

Stress Factors: Common Stress Factors And How To Eliminate Them

Most people will tell you that many stressors fill their world. Identifying them specifically as well as choosing some activity to eliminate them contributes to improved health and well being.

The most common stress-inducer is time. People say there is never enough time to finish the task. They say there is never enough time to get it all done.

Most women will tell you they never have time for themselves. They never have time to take care of their own needs – including time to do something fun.

When you fail to fuel yourself with love and activities that leave you feeling relaxed and fulfilled, your body, mind and spirit feel the stress and may develop real symptoms, aches, pains or illness – just to get your attention!

On that same subject, taking care of oneself…

Many people, especially women, find themselves agreeing to take on tasks they no way want to do. Their vocabulary lacks the very important word, “No.”

How do you feel when you agree to do a task for someone you know darned well that you absolutely do not want to do yet you also fear saying, “No.”

That horrible feeling inside stresses you and impairs your health – emotionally and physically. In addition to doing something you do not want to do you probably feel like a traitor to yourself.

You know you are not making time to take care of yourself and do fun stuff just for the sake of relaxation and joy. Yet here you are agreeing to spend time doing a chore you do not even want to do!

What kind of message are you sending to your self image, your self esteem and your pride?

Not being able to ask for help when you really need it also causes your heart to skip a beat or pound a little harder.  How come you willingly tell others you will help them with tasks you do not want to do yet you will not ask others to help you do your tasks?

Another intensely painful stressor is being shy. I know that one first hand. When you are shy no matter where you go, if there is a crowd  (more that two people) your stress level rises.

Procrastination also creates great stress. Wanting to do something yet not getting to it leaves you feeling less than, maybe even unworthy or deprived.

Every one of those stressors comes from a definition and experience in which you assigned that meaning to those terms.

You can make different choices and watch how fast your life changes.

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