You know you want to make some life changes. Your life is not working out quite the way you expected it to. You are not at the place you planned to be by this point. Happiness eludes you.
Congratulations on knowing you need to take different actions than what you have so far in order to achieve new and different outcomes. After all, if you keep doing what you’ve always done then you’ll keep getting what you’ve always gotten.
Great. So you know you want to change. The questions is how in the world do you make those changes? How do you step out of your box and walk a new path?
How do you teach an old dog new tricks? One step at a time.
First decide what you want to change. How will your life look, what will your daily experience be like when you live with the new habits in place?
My guess is your list of desired changes includes more than one behavior. The thing is you will not succeed at all if you jump into many different new behaviors at once.
The only thing you will experience is overwhelm. And overwhelm quickly leads to quitting.
To really live the life you dream about you want to be persistent and consistent in acting on new behaviors while ceasing to perform all the behaviors that keep you stuck.
Sounds simple. The trick to accomplishing that desired result is to take just one small step at a time.
Start today by doing just one small action differently from how you used to do it. If you put your left pants leg on first then today put your right pants leg on first. If you take a right turn out of your driveway when you leave home then starting today make a left turn and create a new way to your destination. (Get the metaphor?)
You can do one small thing easily, right? You can commit to making one small change and follow through consistently, yes? I am talking about one thing.
Decide which one thing you will change this week and do it every day for a week and then, after successfully adding this one new small change – then add a second new small change.
If, for any reason, you find yourself forgetting to continue with either of the new behaviors then go back to doing just one.
You want to consistently repeat the new behavior for at least 28 consecutive days to instill a new habit. If two new action steps work then do two as described above.
Give yourself time. Remember that slow and steady gets you there – often more dependably than quick and impetuous. With each small success you feel encouraged to create another success with another new behavior.
As you see your stress level drop you will find all the motivation you need to continue on the slow and steady path to living in happiness now. I invite you to get quick stress relief to assist you on that new path by getting your FREE copy of my Special Report: 25 Tips To Eliminate Stress Now by filling in your name and email in the box on the right.
Most people will tell you that many stressors fill their world. Identifying them specifically as well as choosing some activity to eliminate them contributes to improved health and well being.
The most common stress-inducer is time. People say there is never enough time to finish the task. They say there is never enough time to get it all done.
Most women will tell you they never have time for themselves. They never have time to take care of their own needs – including time to do something fun.
When you fail to fuel yourself with love and activities that leave you feeling relaxed and fulfilled, your body, mind and spirit feel the stress and may develop real symptoms, aches, pains or illness – just to get your attention!
On that same subject, taking care of oneself…
Many people, especially women, find themselves agreeing to take on tasks they no way want to do. Their vocabulary lacks the very important word, “No.”
How do you feel when you agree to do a task for someone you know darned well that you absolutely do not want to do yet you also fear saying, “No.”
That horrible feeling inside stresses you and impairs your health – emotionally and physically. In addition to doing something you do not want to do you probably feel like a traitor to yourself.
You know you are not making time to take care of yourself and do fun stuff just for the sake of relaxation and joy. Yet here you are agreeing to spend time doing a chore you do not even want to do!
What kind of message are you sending to your self image, your self esteem and your pride?
Not being able to ask for help when you really need it also causes your heart to skip a beat or pound a little harder. How come you willingly tell others you will help them with tasks you do not want to do yet you will not ask others to help you do your tasks?
Another intensely painful stressor is being shy. I know that one first hand. When you are shy no matter where you go, if there is a crowd (more that two people) your stress level rises.
Procrastination also creates great stress. Wanting to do something yet not getting to it leaves you feeling less than, maybe even unworthy or deprived.
Every one of those stressors comes from a definition and experience in which you assigned that meaning to those terms.
You can make different choices and watch how fast your life changes.
Stress takes its toll on people. Successful people use a specific technique that relieves stress and leads to success across one’s life.
What is that technique? Make your decision quickly and stick to it.
Successful people are known to make decisions quickly and then rarely change their minds. When they do change, they do so slowly and deliberately.
How dos that habit relieve stress?
When you hve a choice to make and you linger over what to do, which path to follow, what goes on in your mind? You probably feel a need to gather as much information as possible to make sure you make the right decisions for you.
That information gathering stage expands. You want to make sure you do not miss anything.
For most people they make lists: one of the advantages and one of the disadvantages of each choice. So they expend energy looking for what could go wrong and what might be missing as well as what could go right.
There is another way to use your energy, a faster way that works more reliably.
Picture the desired outcome of making this decision. What do you want your world to look like because you decided ABC? Write all the results that will come of this choice. Go into great detail.
Now that you created that list of the scenario you want to live put it out to the Universe.
Put it out to the Universe? What does that mean?
Meditate on your list of desired outcomes. OR visualize them. Or best choice – virtualize them.
New York Times best selling author, Robert G. Allen, coined the word virtualizing. It goes beyond visualizing boosting your power to manifest what you want faster and easier.
To virtualize you go inside, behind your eyes and look out at the world you desire (pretend your desired outcome already happened). Do not watch yourself in a movie. See what you see walking in and acting in this movie. The set is in your imagination, okay?
What do you see? Notice the rich colors, patterns, view, etc. all the details of the place you find yourself. Feel what you are walking or sitting on. Notice textures and scents. Maybe you want to grab a glass of water. Feel yourself pouring it from a pitcher and then enjoy it trickling down your throat.
Hear what you hear in that situation. Feel what you feel. Create your virtual world as a real world already in existence. Because, frankly, as soon as you request it that possiblity exists as a reality for you. All you need to do is learn how to take the action to make it real,
Continue to virtualize that experience to speed its manifestation. You will manifest the decision you made faster and easier than you could have by any other means. Oh yes and this one will likely remain a constant in your life.
Instant stress relief is one of the most empowering techniques you can use to eliminate stress the moment you find yourself in a stress-inducing situation. It’s amazing that more people don’t do it.
Here are the top seven benefits of using instant stress relief.
1.Preserve your health and well being. Stress impacts your physical and emotional health. Stress factors into seven of the top ten leading causes of death and is responsible for billions of dollars of missed work every year.
Stress makes people sick, unhappy and unproductive.
2. Whatever you focus on expands. When you focus on the stressor it looms as a giant, growing bigger, in your world. Soon all you will see is the problem, which blocks any possibility of seeing – or even looking for or thinking about – solutions.
You will quickly run what-if scenarios in your head that leave you feeling even more stressed.
3.You will avoid pulling out past memories of times you experienced negative results in what appear to be similar situation, dwelling on them and projecting them into your future as scenarios to fear.
Your imagination, not being able to tell the difference between what you really experience and your fantasies, causes you to live – on a physical and emotional level, the scenes you create. Those experiences take toll on your well being.
4. Stay in control of your emotions. Think with your emotions rather than allow your emotions to think for you. When you allow your emotions to take control you lose your reason and logic skills.
5. YOU continue accurate thinking. Stress can put you into your emotions leading to either positive or negative thinking. Neither serves you. Only accurate thinking, recognizing your interpretations of events, really works for your well being and happiness.
6. You look for solutions rather than not focus on the problem or the stressor. You will never solve a problem by focusing on the issue, by blaming someone for what happened or by wondering how it happened.
You can only move forward by looking for solutions.
7. Stress wastes energy, time and well being. It creates a problem where none exists by taking you away from the present moment.
When you stay in the now you take action. You can only act in the present moment.
Struggle only exists in the future. By living in the present moment you handle the situation so it never looms as an insurmountable issue.
Either you take action now or you live in the stress of what might happen.
Core values drive you determining whether you will find success or failure in life. When you run into a clash among different values, those with the highest priority win out over those that are less important in the situation at hand.
How do you create your core values?
Take a moment to think about what is really important to you…
integrity, health, being happy, truth, well being, being supportive, being logical etc
Really take your time and write down your list of what matters to you in your life. Your values help you decide who to date and who to marry, where it is okay to work and where you would really shine at work, what you do for fun, how you practice your spiritual beliefs, etc. Every aspect of your life reflects what you believe to be in your highest interest.
Seriously, take ten minutes to list your top ten values. Then place them in the order that you think goes from most important to least important. Do this now because your results will reveal how and why your life flows or flutters as it does.
Done? Okay, now look at each value one at a time. Make a note next to each describing (very briefly) why you hold that value so close to your heart and feel it necessary that you live in alignment with it.
This step is crucial so do it before reading further.
Now that you now why each value holds the place it does on your list ask yourself if you created that value in your life and gave it a high priority because in the past someone acted in a way contrary to your value leaving you feeling bad or hurt.
What do I mean? For most of my life I placed honesty as my top value. When I stopped to understand why honesty was so very important to me (I mean I need to live in honesty AND I only tolerate others in my world who also live in honesty) I discovered I never wanted to be lied to or deceived again.
You see, deception had been a common theme in my life as a child and also as an adult. Realizing that reality made me stride to live as an up-front honest person. That same value played a crucial role in my choice of partners, friends and colleagues.
The bottom line is I wanted to avoid and move away from dishonest people. By doing so I figured I could avoid a lot of potential stress from ever entering my life.
What I found is moving toward I want, rather than away from what I do not want, is far more empowering. I continued to attract dishonest people so long as I tried to avoid them!
Consequently I re-examined all my priority core values for whether I wanted them in my life or wanted to avoid having them in my life. My result? I created a new list of core values and new priorities for those that remained on my list.