Our thoughts create emotions that lead to our actions. So our thoughts run our lives. But they are just thoughts!
Someone told me she has a fear that she will wind up being abandoned if she fails to act really “good” all the time. I congratulated her on realizing the program running her fear that had her acting in ways she was not really comfortable lest she make that fear manifest.
So what was really going on for her? Maybe she had an emotional basis for that feeling due to an early life experience where she interpreted someone‘s behavior as abandoning her when she didn’t act perfect.
It doesn’t really matter though. Because that fear is now just a thought in her head, prevalently running her life.
So what did I recommend? I pointed out that she was focusing on that thought. After all, it is nothing more than a thought. She did not have any evidence of that circumstance being her reality NOW.
I reminded her that what we focus on expands in our lives. So her fear continued to build that she would face being abandoned if she let down her guard to be herself own and then.
But you cannot just tell someone it is only a thought and leave it at that. You want them to move away from that thought that drives them away from happiness.
What would you do if you lived with a fear of a specific result if you fail to act as expected in certain conditions? Chances are better than even you already live in that situation. You may or may not be aware of that fact. None the less, the fact that you are reading this information reveals that truth for you.
Thoughts cannot hurt you. Only action can hurt you, right? And only action can protect you.
To avoid taking action that could hurt you stop thinking thoughts that cause the emotions that lead to the actions that you fear happening. Well, duh, you cannot simply tell your mind to shut down, now can you? So how do you stop those thoughts from controlling you all the time?
Think a different thought. Stop and ask yourself, what would be the opposite thought/belief I can think that would replace the thought I no longer want to think?
When that new thought pops into your awareness write it down and carry the paper with you. Post it on the walls around you so you see it all day long. Every time you see it or feel it in your pocket think that new thought.
What will that routine accomplish? You will feed the new thought. What you focus on grows. You stop fueling the old fearful thought. What receives no attention withers away.
In time, usually 28 days (if you diligently think only your new thought all day long to the complete exclusion of the fearful one) you will replace the bad habit fear thought with the new healthy habit empowering thought.