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Why Aren’t You Happier: What’s Missing From Your Happiness Picture

Why aren’t you happier? What could possibly be missing from your life?

You have a terrific family who you absolutely adore. Raising your kids gives you great pleasure. OR maybe you work outside your home doing a job that you totally love, a job that positively impacts lives.

When you look around your home you find you have everything you ever wanted – nice comfortable house, great car, your health. All the little luxuries fill your life and you know you can buy anything else you desire – including vacations to get away from your wonderful home.

From outside your life looks like a dream life. You appear to be completely happy. Ah, but appearances mask reality.

For you something is missing. You cannot put your finger on it. You just know there is a boredom factor in your world – when you find time to yourself you notice that uneasiness.

You may even sense a gaping hole in your being. You have no clue how to fill it so you keep yourself busy so as not to notice it. You definitely do not want to bring attention to what makes you feel bad because, as you probably discovered already, what you focus on expands in your life.

Okay, if you do not focus on that indefinable feeling how do you eliminate it so you can finally feel complete? Take an inventory of your life.

Sit down with pen and paper (do not use your computer. You want this to be hands on.) Write down each area of your life that matters to you. Make sure to include mental well being, physical health, spirituality, money matters, fun and recreation, relationships (with yourself and with others).

Now take each area one by one. Determine your status in that part of your life. Write down all the good feeling events and memories that come to you. Take the time to write all the memories.

When you finish you will notice that some of the lists are longer than others. Go back and see if you can think of anything else to add to the lists with only a few events listed.

When you feel done rate each area as to how content you feel. Use a scale of 1-10 with 10 being totally fulfilled, couldn’t be better to 1 being this is really missing for my life. Be brutally honest here. No one will see your list but you.

Take the areas where you rated less than 5. Write down what you think is missing from each that will bring the rating up to the next digit. So if you scored a 5 how will that area of your life look when you are at a 6?
Hold on to that picture in your mind. Write it down. Find a picture of that situation for you. You do not need to figure out how you will get there. Just keep that picture in your heart and mind.

Sure, you want to jump right to the 10. You set yourself up for failure if you try to make such a big leap when you have not gotten close naturally.

By going up one digit at a time you make it all the way to 10. Little steps will get you where you want to go.

Your results may surprise you.

Happiness Lies Within – Happiness is an Inside Job

Happiness lies within. Yet most people look outside themselves to find happiness. They think things and people can bring them happiness.

Nothing, absolutely nothing outside of you will ever bring you happiness. It can’t.  Everything outside you is ephemeral–temporary.

I read an interesting post on Twitter yesterday,. The original statement was, “Money can’t buy you happiness.” The response was, “Are you kidding? Do you live in the US? Money can buy you a wave runner. Did you ever see anyone on a wave runner not smiling?”

I wonder what that responder does when not riding the wave runner that makes her happy. How about you?

If you look to someone or something outside yourself to make you feel happy then what happens when that someone or something cannot be with you? Duh.

Things and people come and go. The only one on whom you can depend your whole life long is you.

The fact is happiness lies within.

You do have folders deep in your subconscious mind for being happy. The problem is somewhere along the line you stopped fueling those folders and created new folders saying you are unhappy. And, following the general mood of society, you constantly fill those unhappy folders with evidence that life is crummy.

Whatever you focus on expands, quite literally, in those file folders. Think of each event that  you interpret as making you unhappy as a sheet of paper, a document that you put into your unhappy file folder.

The more you put in there the more that folder expands – until ultimately it bursts and you get sick or hurt.

Happiness lies within – not outside of you. You were born happy. Go within to find the happiness that still lives there–buried by years of frustration and inaccurate thinking.

Decide to make yourself happy. Draw on the documents of happiness from the happy folder. Feed that folder with new events that leave you feeling happy. As it grows your life will change dramatically into one of happiness.

Meditate or self-hypnotize and you will find your own answers within.

To your happiness!