Many divorced 40-something women experience stress in a number of areas. It seems like a mid-life awakening nudges them to move out of the boxes in which they lived, seemingly in safety, all their lives.
If you fall into that category then I have some great news for you.
You see, you never were really comfortable at all. You just did what you knew rather than chance jumping into the unknown. Now you can free yourself from that false sense of security and finally forge a new path, specific to you, that leads you where you want to go.
You may feel uncertain about where you want to go. Actually you do know. You only lack knowing how to get in touch with that information that already lives inside you.
How about taking a brief view of your current circumstances?
Since you chose to read this title you already feel stress in your life. Maybe you are recently divorced after a long marriage. Ii is not uncommon, today, for couples to get divorced after more than thirty years of marriage.
Even if the separation was a mutual agreement and an amicable split you still have feelings to deal with. Those feelings may be in your awareness or maybe you buried them to prevent any further hurt for the time being.
Perhaps this is the first time you are living on your own. As freeing as that sounds it is also limiting. When you need a hug or some help in the middle of the night – you have you to count on to make it through. Well, maybe you have a pet and phone number you can call. The thing is this situation is new for you.
Of course being in a marriage can be more lonely than living on your own. So maybe you already adjusted to being alone. Know what I mean?
Your whole social life may be in a bit of an upheaval. Friends who you enjoyed as a couple may feel uncomfortable being with just you. So there is yet another adjustment to make.
OR you can see that experience as an adventure into new territory and a chance to know new people.
Now that you get to prepare food just for you, you get to do what you want. Ah, and you get to show you how important you are by preparing nice meals – just for you.
It surprises me how many women do not bother, as they say, to prepare luscious fun and elegant dishes just for themselves. Who is worth more in your life than you?
If the response was you do not need or deserve it then you definitely have a lot of stress around self care, self worth and self image.
Add health, if you are moving through the change of life and a new desire to connect with your spiritual side add both to the mix.
Well, no wonder you feel so much stress. But what if you viewed each point as a new beginning into a world of surprises? Whether those surprises feel good or otherwise – well that choice is yours alone to make.
Stress is a choice you make by deciding what feels good and what feels overwhelming and scary.
Women over forty often have a surprisingly different view of relationships than they did at younger ages. And that view differs drastically from that of men – which you might expect.
Polls show that nearly half of women over forty have no desire to get into another serious committed relationship like marriage after leaving a long time marriage. They actually feel content to be independent and just meet with or go out with guys when they feel like it.
After taking care of others all their lives women often look forward to having no responsibilities toward anyone but themselves. Ah! Freedom rings loud and clear – finally.
Interestingly, younger women, not having had all those years of experience and pressure as caretaker and compromiser, often wonder why their older friend has no interest in dating.
The fact is most women, at least in my experience, say that (after leaving an unhappy marriage) they have no interest in even looking for another guy. If one comes along they may be interested, they say, but go out purposely and spend time and energy looking to date? No thank you!
I offer another piece of wisdom on behalf of more mature women (is that euphemism or what?). You attract who you are, right? After leaving a marriage that possibly lasted most of her life, a women in her forties may realize she is not living her purpose or fulfilling her own desires – because she never had time to determine what either is for her.
First you need to decide who you want to be in life. Or you can work backwards and choose what you want to have. Then determine what you need to be able to do so you can have that result. Finally you need to figure out what kind of person takes those necessary actions.
So before going out looking for a man, I advise you to know who you are or, at least know who you want to be and then become that person. Because you will attract someone at your current level of vibration and experience make certain you love you exactly as you are and are living life as you want to first.
That way when you put out your request to meet your guy you will attract someone you actually do want in your life.
That step is critical. I didn’t know about it after my divorce so I wound up dating some guys who were very nice but hey—not anyone I had any interest in at all.
I am so clear that I am still becoming and not where I want to be in my own life yet. So I am not making any great effort to meet anyone and crate a relationship. I enjoy being on my own so much I am not sure if I will ever want to compromise how I live again.