Sometimes it rains on your plans. Do you make the ot of it and create new plans OR do you cmplain and dive into misery and disappointment?
Join the conversation and tell me what you do when rain cancels your intended activity by leaving a comment below the video.
You know you want to make some life changes. Your life is not working out quite the way you expected it to. You are not at the place you planned to be by this point. Happiness eludes you.
Congratulations on knowing you need to take different actions than what you have so far in order to achieve new and different outcomes. After all, if you keep doing what you’ve always done then you’ll keep getting what you’ve always gotten.
Great. So you know you want to change. The questions is how in the world do you make those changes? How do you step out of your box and walk a new path?
How do you teach an old dog new tricks? One step at a time.
First decide what you want to change. How will your life look, what will your daily experience be like when you live with the new habits in place?
My guess is your list of desired changes includes more than one behavior. The thing is you will not succeed at all if you jump into many different new behaviors at once.
The only thing you will experience is overwhelm. And overwhelm quickly leads to quitting.
To really live the life you dream about you want to be persistent and consistent in acting on new behaviors while ceasing to perform all the behaviors that keep you stuck.
Sounds simple. The trick to accomplishing that desired result is to take just one small step at a time.
Start today by doing just one small action differently from how you used to do it. If you put your left pants leg on first then today put your right pants leg on first. If you take a right turn out of your driveway when you leave home then starting today make a left turn and create a new way to your destination. (Get the metaphor?)
You can do one small thing easily, right? You can commit to making one small change and follow through consistently, yes? I am talking about one thing.
Decide which one thing you will change this week and do it every day for a week and then, after successfully adding this one new small change – then add a second new small change.
If, for any reason, you find yourself forgetting to continue with either of the new behaviors then go back to doing just one.
You want to consistently repeat the new behavior for at least 28 consecutive days to instill a new habit. If two new action steps work then do two as described above.
Give yourself time. Remember that slow and steady gets you there – often more dependably than quick and impetuous. With each small success you feel encouraged to create another success with another new behavior.
As you see your stress level drop you will find all the motivation you need to continue on the slow and steady path to living in happiness now. I invite you to get quick stress relief to assist you on that new path by getting your FREE copy of my Special Report: 25 Tips To Eliminate Stress Now by filling in your name and email in the box on the right.
Everything comes into your life for a beautiful and Divine reason – everything and everyone. The people, or pets, and even your plants all have something to teach or share with you.
When you realize there are no accidents and everything and everyone who enters your life is supposed to be there (yes, even those who cause crummy to horrible experiences) your stress level begins to fall.
Are you kidding? Not at all. Stop and notice…
How do your plants grow? Do they grow? Do they look the way you expect them to?
Many years ago scientists monitored plants while shrimp were being boiled alive nearby. The plants showed stress.
I know my plants do better when I take the time to talk to them. And I most definitely know that trees communicate with me as do stones.
Hey, that is why I am able to make such beautiful sculptures and carvings. Basically the stones or wood tell me what to make. After all, the finished form lies within. All I need to do is remove the excess wood and know where to place which stones!
No, I do not hear words coming from seemingly inanimate objects. I feel their energy. Even rocks have very distinctive energies. You will feel them when you allow yourself to do so.
You will also see the energy that surrounds things you think have no living energy. Auras are energy fields that can actually be measured with manmade instruments and scales.
There is a whole world out there most people never see because they do not believe such things can be real. They fail to accept other dimensions and possibilities into their world.
Back to the subject of plants and how we learn from them.
If you grow plants, either indoors or outside, observe how they fare and under what conditions they thrive or wither away. Pay attention to the conditions under which they are living when you look at their vitality.
How does what happens with your plants reflect what is going on inside you? When your stress level rises do your plants need more water because they sense your dehydration?
Do they manage to make it through long periods of drought when you forget to water them – the way you make it through tough times?
Ever seen a plant come back to life when you were preparing to throw it away?
How vulnerable are your plants to insects or fungi and parasites? How about you? Is there a correlation between the health of your plants and your own health?
The connection with pets is pretty clear. So “getting” that everything in your environment impacts and is impacted by you takes stepping outside your box.
You may know some people who can’t wear watches. The watches explode or stop running. Many of my friends (and me too, dang!) experience sensitive electronics, especially computers. Others can do things on my computer with no problem that I cannot do at all when my energy goes out of whack.
You don’t need to judge anything. Just take notice of how things, living or not, in your environment seem to react to you and how you feel.
Women over forty often find stress closing in from all areas of the lives.
For those who were stay-at-home moms or homemakers the work place is unfamiliar territory.
Women who have been out in the work force may begin to question the value of what they contributed to society or to the planet. Most likely they also awakened their drive to connect with their spirituality. Of course their bodies are going through changes that may magnify the emotional journey on which they find themselves.
For many women over forty, the move toward introspection accentuates their empty feeling or loneliness – even when they find themselves still married. They begin to acknowledge just how unhappy they are.
These days you find many marriages, of more than 30 years, ending. The women who made that conscious choice decided they could no longer live in deep unhappiness and preferred to jump into the unknown.
For those women, the thought of living out the rest of their lives with the stress of not feeling fulfilled is way more scary than stepping out of their comfort zone.
Just look at the statistics for middle-aged women and feminine cancers. How many of them are looking for a way out, a way to end the disappointment of not giving birth to their own desires and taking care of their own needs for themselves.
Stress takes its toll on those who get caught by surprise. Without healthy habits and independent thought paradigms one easily succumbs to overwhelm—whether those be emotional or physical states.
Yet there is another way to live, a way that reduces, eliminates and avoids stressful situations from taking over one’s life. That way is to replace habitual thoughts, emotions and actions that currently disempower you and cause stress with new habits, new ways of thinking.
Remember that thoughts lead to emotions that lead to actions that create results. Then that cycle repeats.
So when you start with new thoughts you will experience new and different feelings which means you will take actions you never took before. The result you create will compose your new world and different life.
What you have been doing up until now got you through life—at a price. If you feel unhappy I guarantee your health is not optimal. Eventually your physical health and emotional health will become a major issue (if it hasn’t already) requiring medical intervention of some sort.
You can choose to stay in your stressful life or you can do something different. Nothing will change for you until you decide first and act second.
Divorced women over 40 may carry unresolved issues around for years – maybe forever. In that case they will go on repeating the relationship lesson they have not yet learned.
What lesson is that? The way your husband treated you during the marriage probably made you feel a certain way. At least that is the story you tell yourself and probably all of our girl friend and anyone who will listen to you.
Since misery loves company you will not have trouble finding other angry, hurt women to listen to your complaints. Well, actually you more likely share poor me stories.
Yet you were never the victim in the marriage. He may have treated you without respect and maybe never honored you at all.
So here is a question: did you go into the marriage expecting him to make you happy? Did you look to him to build your self esteem? Did you need praise from him to feel good about yourself?
And what if he never provide any of that once you were married?
The thing is he treated you the way you taught him to treat you.
He observed (subconsciously, perhaps) the way you treated yourself. Did you take time for yourself to do things you enjoyed? Did you do and say things that said, “I love me! I am terrific just the way I am!”
Loving yourself means doing what you want to do for you. It is not selfish. It is fulfilling our own personal desires not just the desires of everybody else in the world.
Think a moment of some of your friends. I bet you have at least one friend who, when she says she is on her way over to visit you scurry to get the house straight and neat.
That person loves herself and expects others to treat her with the same honor and respect she shows herself. You know that from experience. For that reason you tidy up the place when she is coming over.
Now think of a friend who comes over dressed kind of straggly. You wouldn’t give a second thought to straightening or cleaning the house, no matter what. That person settles for how others treat her. This is not about being understanding this is about not feeling worthy or deserving of good things.
See the difference? Do you also see how you taught your husband how to treat you?
Whatever behaviors he exhibited toward you either left you feeling good or feeling bad. You always had a choice to accept or reject his behaviors. You could always have let him know his actions bothered you or were not acceptable to you.
If you did so great for you. If you didn’t then you cannot blame him for how treated you. He mimicked how you treated you to the best of his ability.
When you fail to object to how someone treats you, in essence, you give them permission to treat you that way.
There is no one to blame for all the stress of your marriage that still bothers you. Don’t even blame yourself. Chalk it all up to one big learning experience.