Loving yourself first is not selfish. It is mandatory. You cannot give what you do not have. Without self love you lack self respect and self-honoring. Again, what you do not feel for yourself cannot be given to others – including honoring or respect.
When you love yourself first you will only allow others to treat you with honor and respect at all times. Knowing, very clearly, which behaviors you will accept and which do not fit into your life style allows you to choose only relationships that fulfill your desires.
I am talking about both personal and professional behaviors. Remember that how you do anything is how you do everything.
Feeding your need to love yourself causes you to feel endless love for everyone and everything in the world. Love pours from your every pore with no conscious effort on our part.
You become one with love – and one with God, Creator, the Universe, whatever term you prefer. After all, God is pure love energy.
Remember that you teach others how to treat you by example – you model acceptable behaviors toward you. When you take time to eat well, get rest and also recreation you show others they must feed you well, let you get your sleep and allow you to just plain have fun – as opposed to taking care of them all the time while ignoring you and your own needs. (Know anyone like that?)
You will only live in happiness when your Self love raises your vibrational frequency so high that you attract all and only people and circumstances that feel good.
Feeling good clues you in to the fact that you live in the present moment. All of your energy, taken to support you in the present moment, empowers you to stay healthy which in turn supports optimal functioning of the Life Force that is you.
Life only happens right now…and now…and now. If you recall past memories you steal energy from your present moment, energy that your physical and emotional bodies need to get you through the day. Same holds true if you find yourself “living” in the future.
You need your energy now. You want to stay focused on now.
If your body or emotions come up short on energy right now they go into your organs to pull what they need. Then if you fail to get adequate sleep to replace all that borrowed energy your health slowly, without your awareness, begins to deteriorate.
Loving yourself means knowing the past is gone forever. Loving yourself means the future is not here yet and just needs planning but not dwelling there.
Loving yourself is all about doing what feels good for you.
Today I get to be part of a celebration of life for my friend’s 50th birthday. She was one of the first people I met when I moved to Southwest Idaho from the D.C. suburbs. She was always warm and welcoming – sharing her beautiful Spirit. Oh yeah, she also opened the word of drumming up to me.
Interesting, huh, since I raised one of the most talented drummers/percussionists playing on the international scene today? I used to marvel at what he does. I just couldn’t do it. Carolyn showed me how I can do it – my way.
Every one of us is a Divine Being living a human experience. Often you have to remember that fact and look to see that divinity in others.
With Carolyn Failla you can’t miss it because it shines as brightly as the sun!
Do you live your life in a way that others easily see the Truth of who you are?
You do when you love yourself first. It is not selfish. It is mandatory. Can you possibly be the best you and give the best of you to others if you do not feel it for yourself first? You cannot give what you do not have.
Everyone wants his or her life to be better than it is. Even if you have everything working for you, you still want more. That feeling is human nature.
That feeling reflects the underlying fear that most people exhibit—either openly or deep within out of their awareness. The fear is not having enough. Even very rich people often think they do not have enough money.
They fear losing it and not being able to get it back fast enough. No matter how much money they make, that fear holds them tightly in bondage. That fear leads to the all too common dis-ease of workaholism.
A second fear plays into the lives of most people, insidiously driving them to always need to do more. That fear is not being enough. Those people lack self love so they constantly need to prove how good they are—to others. By seeking approval and praise from others, they think they can calm or even erase their feelings of inadequacy.
Not possible. Only you can erase your fears–by loving yourself first.
Yesterday marked the 38th anniversary of my marriage–except that marriage ended seven years ago.
Over the past seven years that date came and went unnoticed by me. For some reason yesterday it came into my awareness and hit really hard. I felt very sad–until I caught myself in that place of unhappiness.
I know it does not serve anyone to stay in an unhappy place. Dang! it lowers your immune system, causes you to focus on other things that feel sad or bad. It makes you attract unhappiness! Yuck!
I immediately grabbed a happy memory and relived it by focusing my attention there.
Wow! Not only did I instantly change my mood–more than that, much more than that–I remembered how we talked long and hard, coming to a mutual agreement that it no longer made sense to stay married.
We had not stopped loving one another. We faced the reality that we each had gone our separate ways and being together stopped each of us from truly living in happiness.
When we did something I loved then he was not really happy–just went along because it was, so to speak, my turn. The same held true when we did something that he loved to do.
No way did we share a definition of happiness!
I looked at the wonderful life I live now and realized I could never have done what I did or do now with the people I am with and the place where I live if I had stayed in that unhappy marriage.
Perhaps, even more importantly, I realized that staying in an unhappy situation revealed a lack of self love. Thank goodness I “woke up” and changed my whole way of being seven years ago.
Gratitude swept through me for all I am, all I get to do and all I have now. And I am also grateful for all that happened that got me here–incuding the ending of a 31 year marriage.
How grateful am I that I know I choose how I feel in any given moment? Words cannot describe the peace I know.
To live in happiness you must first know and live love–of yourself first. Then you will be able to give it to others.