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Archive Monthly Archives: December 2010

Beware of Psychotherapists Working On Their Own Issues

Do you really want to work with a psychotherapist who has not resolved his or her own issues?

Psychotherapists are people – just like everybody else, right? They live through growth experiences and handle life their way.

I once heard a colleague describe a service he called Therapist’s Central. He said the Universe links together clients with issues ABC and psychotherapists dealing with issue ABC.

A social worker doing psychotherapy once told me her clients make her do her own work to stay one step ahead of her clients.


Would you take wellness advice from an overweight out of shape doctor?

Can you honestly expect someone who does not know how to resolve his or her own issues to assist you with yours?

Even worse that the above scenario is the psychotherapist who fantasizes that all is well with him or her yet continues to experience conflict, dissatisfaction or lack in any area of life.

In my experience as a psychotherapist I found that people who tell you how happy they are rarely are happy at all. They work to convince themselves all is well within when the rest of the world sees the obvious struggle in their daily behaviors.

It may surprise you to know that many therapists take drugs to alter their moods, to stay focused, to stay calm, or to know peace. They know what medications to ask for and they know which doctor will prescribe what they desire.

Most psychotherapists chose their profession because someone helped them through a crisis or they truly want to assist others in living happier, healthier lives. Many psychology degree programs require students to become a client to clear out any issues within.

That is the great news. The less great news is how do you eliminate what is completely out of your awareness? Because, you see, when programs run in the subconscious mind of the therapist those blocks may well impact how they work with their clients.

Neither client nor therapist is privy to that fact.

5 Tips To Find Happiness Now

Happiness eludes most people.

No matter how much one accomplishes in life, people always want more. Most people think the more they do, the more they achieve, the more recognition, the more material things they get will bring them that elusive quality called happiness.

Happiness does not come from anything outside. No one can make you happy. No one can make you feel good about being you—but you.

These five tips will move you to that seemingly far away place where happy people dwell:

1. Know exactly what you want in your life that will allow you to finally know happiness. Get clear on what your daily world must look like for you to feel fulfilled. Until you know where you are heading how can you know how to take your first step? You need to know your endpoint before you can map your route to get there.

2. Where are you right now? You also need to know your starting point when planning a route. To note your progress you want to see where and how you once lived so you can see the changes—even the subtle changes, you make each day. By comparing your new end point each day to the day before place you provide your own motivation to forge ahead on the path to your dream life.

3. Realize that your current life is actually pretty good–compared to how many people live around the globe. I know that fact because you have access to a computer. You know how to use it. And you know how to read and type. Wow! Do you realize how amazing your life is simply because of those few things you take for granted? Now look across your life and discover every little thing for which you feel thankful. Do it now.

4. Recognize that you create your tomorrow with the thoughts, decisions and actions you take today. Live in this present moment. Your past is over and done. All you have is now. Whatever happened in the past happened in the past. Period. Your future starts now. Pay attention to what you think and the choices you make now for they create your tomorrow.

5. Connect to your spirituality. No one reaches inner peace without knowing their spiritual side. No one else can tell you what to believe. You get to choose.

Happiness: Does Technology Compete With Happiness? (You Bet)

When people rely on technology to connect with people they limit their level of happiness – the kind that only happens in face-to-face encounters (and I do not mean video phone to video phone).

Traveling across the United States brought to my attention the very widespread use of technology on a practically non-stop basis. It appears that people are either afraid to be out of touch with their personal and business contacts OR they are so addicted to the gadgets they suffer withdrawal when they cannot use them.

Ride the metro rail in the Washington, D.C. area to witness that separation between people. Most people are either on their smart phones or iPads. People rarely speak to anyone in their presence or nearby vicinity.

Some restaurants post notices banning the use of cell phones.

Did you ever see a group of friends (I label friends because they come and go together), each one on a cell phone talking to somebody who is some place other than with them!

Today while flying across the country I noticed that people talked early in the flight – you know, during the take-off period while the plane climbs to cruising altitude and you cannot use electronics.

Upon reaching the cruising altitude most people fell silent as phones and computers lit up across the plane.

No. Not every person – many people.

For the final half hour of the flight, again when electronics go off, you could hear the buzz of conversation.

Interesting, yes?

Technology keeps people in their homes getting to know people on the other side of the country or the globe. How many people talk to or even know their next-door neighbors?

How to Fulfill Your Desires

When you feel a desire, something you want to be, do or have in life, KNOW that the Universe put it into your heart because you CAN manifest it.

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Health: Create Optimal Health and Happiness One Small Step At a Time

You can create optimal health and live in happiness easier than you think.

You know your life does not look exactly as you want it to right now. What do you do to make the changes you really want to make?

Before you feel too overwhelmed to proceed thinking there is just no way to move from where you are no to where you want to be, the gaps being too wide to overcome without doing way too much work, take a deep breath and continue reading.

Feel more relaxed now? Great.

You see change happens incrementally. When you make one little change you stick to it far more easily than you ever would if you tried to leap from your current status to your desired end.

You can do anything if it fits into your life right? And you can do it without stressing out, without exhausting yourself and without frustrating yourself because the task appears too difficult for you.

Begin with your big picture goal and then break it down into the small goals you need to reach on the way to the end result.

What do I mean?

Let’s say you want to begin to get healthier by taking care of your body. You choose to eliminate eating bedtime snacks for one month.

Each night when you find yourself doing whatever activity would cause you to grab something to munch on before bed you make a conscious choice to live in the now, in the present moment and distract yourself with an activity that occupies your mind and allows you to forget about eating something you do not really need.

Repeat that new behavior every night for 28 days. Each day you succeed you will increase your motivation to continue that new behavior. And you will do it without causing yourself pain or feelings of deprivation.

I know you can do it if you really want to. You know it too. So what are you waiting for?

Begin it now!