Raising my kids enforced my knowing that you gotta live your dreams to truly live in happiness.
I was privileged to be a full time mom. Good thing too because I raised two performing kids who also led normal busy lives while practicing their art.
Even before my son was born I knew he was drummer. From the fifth month of my pregnancy his hands and feet were playing his kit inside me whenever I attempted to rest. My daughter showed us her comedic talents at the tender age of one month. Yes, one month.
Whatever my kids showed an interest in they got to do. Living in the Washington. D. C. area allowed me to easily find classes for all their interests.
Interestingly, by the time each of them turned five they already showed their future paths.
So they played soccer and took classes at the Corcoran Art Gallery In D.C. And they took music lessons. Lots and lots of lessons!
My kids both turned professional at age eleven. Soon after they had to choose between soccer and their art. Why? They are both talented athletes, which means when they played the other team went after them and it became too dangerous to continue playing as kids grew bigger and tougher.
Both my kids live their dreams. Some people call them lucky. Firstly, there is no such thing as luck. You make your luck! More than that, despite the natural talent with which both my son and daughter were born, they both worked harder than anyone you ever knew to develop their talents.
They set standards for themselves that were so high even their friends told them to chill out.
You don’t get to live your dreams if you are willing to settle for anything less than playing full out. Plain and simple.
When you set a goal for your life you go after it wearing blinders. Blinders? To maintain your focus so nothing, absolutely nothing, pulls you off track or off course.
My kids are performers in New York City – the toughest place to make it in show biz. They created their dreams of very young ages and never let up. They continue to study and practice and get better and better at what they do.
Successful people never stop honing their skills and never stop learning, growing and challenging themselves.
Successful people believe in themselves and garner the support they need to stay on target.
After completing his first year at the Cleveland Institute of Music my son actually yelled at me for supporting him. He raged, “Do you know how hard it is to make a living in this business?”
Yes, living your dreams may not be easy. It is worth every minute of blood sweat and tears – no matter what business you are in.
Our thoughts create emotions that lead to our actions. So our thoughts run our lives. But they are just thoughts!
Someone told me she has a fear that she will wind up being abandoned if she fails to act really “good” all the time. I congratulated her on realizing the program running her fear that had her acting in ways she was not really comfortable lest she make that fear manifest.
So what was really going on for her? Maybe she had an emotional basis for that feeling due to an early life experience where she interpreted someone‘s behavior as abandoning her when she didn’t act perfect.
It doesn’t really matter though. Because that fear is now just a thought in her head, prevalently running her life.
So what did I recommend? I pointed out that she was focusing on that thought. After all, it is nothing more than a thought. She did not have any evidence of that circumstance being her reality NOW.
I reminded her that what we focus on expands in our lives. So her fear continued to build that she would face being abandoned if she let down her guard to be herself own and then.
But you cannot just tell someone it is only a thought and leave it at that. You want them to move away from that thought that drives them away from happiness.
What would you do if you lived with a fear of a specific result if you fail to act as expected in certain conditions? Chances are better than even you already live in that situation. You may or may not be aware of that fact. None the less, the fact that you are reading this information reveals that truth for you.
Thoughts cannot hurt you. Only action can hurt you, right? And only action can protect you.
To avoid taking action that could hurt you stop thinking thoughts that cause the emotions that lead to the actions that you fear happening. Well, duh, you cannot simply tell your mind to shut down, now can you? So how do you stop those thoughts from controlling you all the time?
Think a different thought. Stop and ask yourself, what would be the opposite thought/belief I can think that would replace the thought I no longer want to think?
When that new thought pops into your awareness write it down and carry the paper with you. Post it on the walls around you so you see it all day long. Every time you see it or feel it in your pocket think that new thought.
What will that routine accomplish? You will feed the new thought. What you focus on grows. You stop fueling the old fearful thought. What receives no attention withers away.
In time, usually 28 days (if you diligently think only your new thought all day long to the complete exclusion of the fearful one) you will replace the bad habit fear thought with the new healthy habit empowering thought.
Most of us know exactly what we can do to feel good and be happy. The thing is, most of us fail to do what we know will work.
Why in the world do people act in ways contrary to their own best interest and highest good? Put another way, why do more people self-sabotage more often than they self-support?
The default thinking in Western society is that negative thoughts are real while positive thoughts are fantasy. Ludicrous, don’t you think? Why do people buy into such a concept?
It doesn’t matter why because they do. And the fact that they do feeds that thought energy pattern. Whatever you focus on grows bigger. Thoughts that receive energy from lots of people grow bigger and bigger until they become such huge thought forms that people who do not like to think for themselves (which encompasses most people) tune into that thought, take it as their own and live that way as their truth. That thought form becomes their reality.
Running right along with that negative way of thinking and living is the notion that hard work gets you more in life. And the harder you work the more money you make.
Or how about the idea that more money will solve their problems.
I have never seen so many people work so hard at one, two and even three jobs yet they barely make ends meet.
Or healthy food tastes like cardboard and other such nonsense.
What happens when people get a raise? Do they pay off their bills to live debt-free? More commonly they go out and buy more toys then wonder where the extra money went!
Why does the vast majority of people live with such self-deprecating behavior patterns?
Certainly is not because the information is not out there for all to grab and use.
People tell themselves all those lies and rationalize their current unhealthy patterns because they are lazy, emotionally lazy.
To live differently they would have to make time to look at what they must be thinking to have their world look exactly as it does. Moreover, they would have to take action to change their habits.
It takes time, money and effort to change what you think and how you feel. And it takes making a decision and commitment to living your life in a new and different way so you can enjoy a healthy body, mind and spirit.
Failure only happens in your mind if you choose to interpret events that way. Instead you can find the lesson or gift in what happened.
You can live in happiness and never experience failure.
Failure is optional, a way some people interpret events in their lives. It is common knowledge that Thomas Edison found 10,000 ways not to invent the incandescent light bulb. Those were his words. He never saw any failures.
Why would someone choose not to accept failure? Because really you can only experience failure if you choose not to learn from the experience.
You can look for the lesson the discovery reveals in the unexpected results of your endeavor. How many great scientific discoveries and culinary delights happened when things did not go as the creator expected them to?
When you expect one result and a different one shows up you have a choice: throw in the towel with great disappointment OR look to see what you can garner from these new and different results.
Take a look at your life. When did you make the biggest steps forward in reaching your goals? When you met obstacles and challenges on your path. Right?
When the Universe forces you to think and act in new ways, when you must step outside your box and forge a new path – that is when you find your greatest successes!
People tend to coast through life when nothing comes up in their faces. They see no reason to expend extra energy pursuing more and better ways to be and experience life. So they settle for mediocrity- along with their neighbors and most people in the world.
Look at the lives of the most successful and happiest people on the planet. You will find a common thread of adversity. Every one of them hit rock bottom or survived a major life crisis that catapulted them into action.
Some people associate the word rejection with failure. Here again, the way you interpret the event determines whether or not you ever feel rejected.
I raised two performing kids. Talk about rejections. I wish I had known this when they stated their careers. I did eventually figure it out. But my figuring it out doesn’t mean they share my view. After all, you can know something in your head but moving that feeling into your heart takes conscious effort and a true understanding.
When someone says no they are not rejecting you personally. They are simply letting you know that no matter how talented you are you are not the person or set of skills they are looking for. In the case of acting roles – you may not have the “look” they want.
Guys, consider that when you ask out a girl and she turns you down that she just saved both of you the heartache of a date that bores both of you – or worse.
There is much to be said for the simple life. You get to see, understand and truly honor what is most important to you.
Most people say they want to be rich. If you stop and talk with someone who is rich, leading the rich and famous life style o those who flaunt their riches (Most millionaires do not live in palatial homes in the lap of luxury!) many will tell you that more money brings more responsibilities, more worries and, in general, more woes!
If you increase your worriers do you feel better or worse? Most people would agree they enjoy life less if they worry more. Hmm.
What, then, makes people happy if it is not about having lots of money?
I ask you, what makes your life worth living? How do you define happiness and success in life? In other words, what would it take for you to feel wealthy if more money is not the end goal?
Many people look at what they do not have in life. They want the material things their neighbors seem to enjoy. They want the fancy homes, the smart phones and cool games. Most people want more, more and more things.
I grew up in a simpler time. When I was a little kid my family gathered around the piano and sang songs together. We played board games inside and croquet, badminton and baseball-like games outdoors.
Televisions were pretty new. Ours was an enormous box with a tiny tube and you only got about three stations. Needless to say the broadcast was in black and white. We didn’t spend lots of time watching the television. When we did we watched Lawrence Welk and sing Along Wtih Mitch.
We could have chosen to spend family time watching others enjoy their lives (the actors on television living their dreams). But, happily for me, we didn’t. I grew up constantly being around music. My mom sang all the time. She sang like an angel. And my brother would have friends over to dance Rock ‘n’ Roll. The Texaco Opera(Texaco sponsored broadcasts from the New York Metropolitan Opera House.) played Saturday afternoons on the radio.
My family chose to enjoy each other’s company and being a family – when I was very young and all was well.
I am so grateful for that background. I raised my own kids that way – surrounded by music and art, sports and doing and being together. I feel so blessed and also grateful that I made the choice to run our household that way.