Relationships and Spirit

When you get down this key relationship you eliminate all stress from your world – ALL stress!

Over Forty : How to Make the Life Changes You Want to Make

Here you are, over forty, either divorced or in an unhappy marriage, and ready to make some changes. Only you do not know exactly what to change to or how to do it.

So, for now, you go along each day, following the same routine you know as your life, The thing is you are so done with this routine you are ready to step out of your comfort zone into the unexpected.

Well, maybe you do not want to move into the unexpected just yet. But you do know how desperately you want out of your comfort zone because you definitely know it is anything but comfortable!

Great decision. Yes, change begins with a decision. But then nothing changes until something moves.
Which something? You. You gotta take action, new and different action than any you have ever done, if you want to go places you have never been.
But wait. Before you take those new actions you have to figure out who you want to be in life.
Who you want to be? What does that mean?
People act in specific ways because of the thoughts they think which lead to the emotions they feel. If you want to be a tennis player you have to think about your physical health, your emotional stamina, your lessons, your coach, your game plans, your schedule, etc. You have to be someone who thinks, feels and acts like a tennis player.
If you want to be a writer it will not serve you to become (in your mind-body) a tennis player.
Make sense?
Great. Then to start your new journey decide who you have to become to achieve that new you, that new way of being in life.

How do you do that? Find someone who already does what you want to do. Then find out everything you can about that person. Read any biographies you can find. Read books or articles they’ve written.

If you can possibly do it, arrange to meet with them and possibly spend a day shadowing them to get the first hand real and honest look at how that kind of person spends their day.

Once you know what and how they do what they do then you can copy their routine.

Find someone to be your accountability partner so that you actually do the daily activities you say you will to accomplish your mindset change. Creating a new you does require a mindset change. You need support and someone who cares enough to remind you to stay on target to make that happen.

See yourself already living as the new you. Virtualize your day walking through each moment looking out through your own eyes, feeling the things you now touch. Eat and smell what the new you does. Hear the sounds that abound in your new world, etc.

Make the experience real for you. Guess what, by doing so you fool your subconscious mind into believing you really do live that way now.

Probably the most important action to take involves feeling gratitude for all you already have. Keep a gratitude journal and speak your words aloud so the Universe really gets how grateful you are. After all the more for which you express thanks the more the Universe wants to deliver to you.

Know that even though you already have so much it is okay to want more. You are here to enjoy the best life you desire. Stress only happens when you forget that truth and succumb to the ho-hum life you already lived – until now.

Stress: How To Dump Your Damaging Self Image and Eliminate Stress

Stress weighs on you when your self image is poor. Your self image tells you what you can and cannot be, do and have. Therein lie all your limitations in life.

But those limits are all made up. They are nothing but programs running out of your awareness. Which means you can change them.

For women who are forty-something and are either divorced or in unhappy marriages look to a poor self image as the cause for staying in that stressful place. Realize your husband did nothing to make you feel bad about yourself.

Of course you attracted him because you had issues to work out, issues at a lower level of vibration than what you desire in life. All things happy and good, all your wishes and desires, vibrate at a high frequency. You do not live in harmony with that high frequency, right now, so you fail to attract all you say you want.

Let’s get back to the subject of self image. By replacing the programs that keep you stuck in unhappiness with new programs that allow you to raise your frequency, you will change your entire world. You always and only attract people and things that vibrate in harmony with you.

So how do you make that happen? How do you erase a poor self image and create a new healthy one?

Your life change begins with a decision. Choose how you want to live your life. Then determine who you have to be and what kind of thoughts you need to have about yourself that allows you to take the necessary actions to create your new life.

Make sense?

Until you know where you want to wind up you cannot take even a tiny step on that path. Which way would you go?  How big a step would you take? No clue – until you see the end goal in mind – literally in your mind.

You hear about visualizing to manifest what you want in life. What if you begin by visualizing who you want to be in life? Then you won’t need to focus on each little thing you desire because all will flow to you – because you will live in the energy vibration where all those things you desire already exist.

You know someone who has everything go their way all the time. Their personal life, business and health all shine like gold.

Why? Look at who they are. You can feel their high energy. In fact just being around them feels great!

There is nothing special or unique about them. You can do exactly what they do and you can live as they do. Get yourself to become the person you want to be and the rest falls in place.

It is not about having stuff first and then being happy. It is about eliminating stress by becoming the happy person first then attracting happiness across your life.

Stress Factors: Common Stress Factors And How To Eliminate Them

Most people will tell you that many stressors fill their world. Identifying them specifically as well as choosing some activity to eliminate them contributes to improved health and well being.

The most common stress-inducer is time. People say there is never enough time to finish the task. They say there is never enough time to get it all done.

Most women will tell you they never have time for themselves. They never have time to take care of their own needs – including time to do something fun.

When you fail to fuel yourself with love and activities that leave you feeling relaxed and fulfilled, your body, mind and spirit feel the stress and may develop real symptoms, aches, pains or illness – just to get your attention!

On that same subject, taking care of oneself…

Many people, especially women, find themselves agreeing to take on tasks they no way want to do. Their vocabulary lacks the very important word, “No.”

How do you feel when you agree to do a task for someone you know darned well that you absolutely do not want to do yet you also fear saying, “No.”

That horrible feeling inside stresses you and impairs your health – emotionally and physically. In addition to doing something you do not want to do you probably feel like a traitor to yourself.

You know you are not making time to take care of yourself and do fun stuff just for the sake of relaxation and joy. Yet here you are agreeing to spend time doing a chore you do not even want to do!

What kind of message are you sending to your self image, your self esteem and your pride?

Not being able to ask for help when you really need it also causes your heart to skip a beat or pound a little harder.  How come you willingly tell others you will help them with tasks you do not want to do yet you will not ask others to help you do your tasks?

Another intensely painful stressor is being shy. I know that one first hand. When you are shy no matter where you go, if there is a crowd  (more that two people) your stress level rises.

Procrastination also creates great stress. Wanting to do something yet not getting to it leaves you feeling less than, maybe even unworthy or deprived.

Every one of those stressors comes from a definition and experience in which you assigned that meaning to those terms.

You can make different choices and watch how fast your life changes.

Stress in Paradise

When I first saw it I was sure I found paradise. I was wrong.

I moved out to farm country a while ago. I love the views of crops that vary each year and mountains in the distance. The peace and serenity here truly felt like paradise to me.

Okay, this is not my ideal dream situation. That would be a mountain lake with evergreens and mountains completing my view.

But the evergreen country view is farther away from town than I want to live right now. So I figured farmland was a pretty good second choice.

On the surface it is. But when I take a truthful look I find something, many things actually, that really disturb me.

When you don’t want to see the truth you can do great job of hiding it from yourself. Well, I did anyway.

It took me many months to realize that my health has declined sharply in the short time since I moved out here. I kept attributing the cause to other reasons that are definitely true. But the real stressors driving my health issues are all stress. And that happened because of the facts of living in the country, farm country, to be specific.

I didn’t think much about mice in the house when I had a cat. He would catch the mice that rarely showed up. At least I think they rarely came into the house. Now that I know they need a space the size of your index finger to get in I am not so sure mice indoors happened since my cat transitioned to the next plane.

When I saw mice running around it freaked me out. I had no idea where they were depositing their droppings. I didn’t know if they were getting into or on my counters or places I kept my food, dishes. etc.

Mice are not clean and I am health fanatic. Hey even if you are not a health nut you don’t want mice in your food area or in your house, for that matter!

While trying to find their hiding place I discovered they had destroyed lots of very important property.  They eat through anything! Unreal!

Some very precious material had been destroyed. Not to mention the horribly awful mess they left in all my things. Yikes. Talk about disgusting.

Do you think all that attention to mice and their habits in my house caused me stress? Understatement. I didn’t even realize I was losing sleep over it. I was afraid of finding dead mice and (which often happened) inside and outside.

But it wasn’t just the mice stressing me out.

I live in the country with farmland neighboring me. The farmer sprays his fields. I have no clue how much of that spray wafts over onto my yard – and my garden.

The other day it hit me that my water supply comes from a well. No way does the spray, the pesticide and herbicide, not get into the ground water and therefore into my water.

Okay. I use special water systems for everything—except washing dishes and watering my garden.  Oh great, chemical water feeding the crops I grow to eat myself.

But that is not all. The sprays work to keep the pests out of the crops. I know because they came over to my house. And many are so small they come right in through the screens.

Until I gave in and hired a pest control company I went to sleep at night and awakened every morning to the site of tiny black dots moving across my ceiling. If I ever opened the window overhead—different black dots filled my pillow—so I guess they got into my hair too. Shutter!

Yuck!
What I finally faced is this location and house is not paradise for me – and it is time for me to leave farm country and restore my peace of mind – and health.