Category Archives for stress

Stress: Reduce Stress by Creating a Support Network

A support network can serve as a great stress reducer. Many minds can assist you in viewing any event or circumstance differently then you can all by yourself.

Yet a support network offers so much more than just other perspectives.

People are community creatures. We were not designed to live separately as hermits. When people fail to get adequate hugs and touching they fail to thrive.

When they fail to thrive they have less resilience to bounce back from stressful events. In fact they are less likely to make it through the overwhelm or pressure of tough moments when they suffer from a touch shortage.

No joke here. Many experiments led to the handling, rubbing and cuddling of premature babies in intensive care of neonatal wards.

Make sure some of the people in your support network live close by so you get physical hugs often – every day is optimal.

Just how many hugs makes a difference for people?

Virginia Satir, the founder of Family Therapy, said that people need 4 hugs a day to survive, eight to get by and twelve to thrive. How many people get twelve a hugs a day? How many get even one hug a day?

Everyone needs to know someone loves them. Make certain at least one person in your support network loves you. (Your support network can be family, friends and colleagues.) Realize you gotta love yourself first to ever move to stress-free living.

You teach people how to treat you by how you treat yourself. You set the example.

An interesting possible addition to your support network is a pet: cat, dog, ferret, whatever animal you like – assuming you like and can care for a pet. You can count on a pet to make you smile. Smiles go a long way to reduce and eliminate stress.

Accountability partners offer needed support regardless of whether you need help staying on task with personal or professional goals. When you tell yourself you will accomplish ABC by a specific time and date you may feel extremely pressured to finish it if you have someone waiting to hear of your completion.

If the only person wanting to know if you finish what you said you would is you, well, most people have a hard time keeping commitments they make only to themselves. When you feel like you let yourself down you heap a whole lot of stress and bad feelings on yourself.

One function of a support network that I especially like is having friends who remind me of what I already know and forget when I get stressed. Those reminders powerfully get me back on track.

Under duress we forget what we know. At those times friends remind us what to do. They do not tell us anything we do not already know. They tell us what we need to hear right then and there.

Want To Know How To Eliminate Stress Right Now?

So you want to know how to eliminate stress right now?
I used to think that stress was part of life. I figured I could get through stressful events and be okay. But then another event would pop up, another event to get through. Which is what I did.
Until…
I discovered that I create my stress. Me. No body and nothing else.
No one can make me feel happy or sad or at peace but me. And no one and nothing can make me feel stressed out.
I can hear you saying, “But Ali, you don’t know what he did to me. This is different He made me feel pressured and overwhelmed. I didn’t used to feel that way!”
To which I reply, “Then why do you choose to feel that way now?”
You alone interpret events in your world. No one can tell you how to view or how to feel about anything or anyone.
I realize if someone caused you bad pain of any kind (physical, emotional or spiritual) you will blame them for your feeling bad now. So stop a moment and tell me when you are living. Are you not in this moment here and now?
Are you living back, how many years ago, when that trauma happened? You can’t. That time is gone. The best you can do is drudge up memories that come with your unique interpretation of events.
Your interpretation of events? Yes.
One hundred people witnessing the exact same event will describe one hundred different scenarios as to what took place. Some variations will be so far apart from each other you will not even recognize them as describing the same sequence of events.
The reason you didn’t know that you create your stress is you do not know you live on automatic. You live in yesterday’s world and you will do it again tomorrow.
You think about 65,000 thoughts per day. 98% of those thoughts are the same ones you thought the day before. In fact, those same thoughts run continuously in your head, more or less in the back ground—because you are so used to hearing the chatter you no longer notice it.
IF your thoughts are your creation of your world and you repeat mostly the same ones every day then how can you change your definition of stress? How can you ever get out from under all that over whelm and pressure?
The only way to eliminate that stress is to live in the present moment and pay attention to your thoughts. Think thoughts now. Live with awareness of what you are feeling because your feelings reveal what you are thinking.
When you feel bad then change your thoughts to feel good thoughts. Your stress level must drop as you think fewer and fewer negative thoughts, because your frequency of vibration will rise to a feel good level!

Instant Stress Relief: Top Seven Reasons To Practice Instant Stress Relief

Instant stress relief is one of the most empowering techniques you can use to eliminate stress the moment you find yourself in a stress-inducing situation. It’s amazing that more people don’t do it.

Here are the top seven benefits of using instant stress relief.

1.Preserve your health and well being. Stress impacts your physical and emotional health. Stress factors into seven of the top ten leading causes of death and is responsible for billions of dollars of missed work every year.

Stress makes people sick, unhappy and unproductive.

2. Whatever you focus on expands. When you focus on the stressor it looms as a giant, growing bigger, in your world. Soon all you will see is the problem, which blocks any possibility of seeing – or even looking for or thinking about – solutions.

You will quickly run what-if scenarios in your head that leave you feeling even more stressed.

3.You will avoid pulling out past memories of times you experienced negative results in what appear to be similar situation, dwelling on them and projecting them into your future as scenarios to fear.

Your imagination, not being able to tell the difference between what you really experience and your fantasies, causes you to live – on a physical and emotional level, the scenes you create. Those experiences take toll on your well being.

4. Stay in control of your emotions. Think with your emotions rather than allow your emotions to think for you. When you allow your emotions to take control you lose your reason and logic skills.

5. YOU continue accurate thinking. Stress can put you into your emotions leading to either positive or negative thinking. Neither serves you. Only accurate thinking, recognizing your interpretations of events, really works for your well being and happiness.

6. You look for solutions rather than not focus on the problem or the stressor. You will never solve a problem by focusing on the issue, by blaming someone for what happened or by wondering how it happened.

You can only move forward by looking for solutions.

7. Stress wastes energy, time and well being.  It creates a problem where none exists by taking you away from the present moment.

When you stay in the now you take action. You can only act in the present moment.
Struggle only exists in the future. By living in the present moment you handle the situation so it never looms as an insurmountable issue.

Either you take action now or you live in the stress of what might happen.

Stress and Healing

The healing process can be very stressful—following either an emotional, physical or spiritual injury. And it can happen in a matter of minutes rather than years.

I was talking with a spiritual counselor today about the healing process. She was saying how things take time. She works in the paradigm that people get better as they can handle their issues that come up.

Hmm. That means the ego mind is in charge! Talk about a slow healing process!

She also said she knows how to help someone if they go into shock while working with her.

Shock! What the heck?

I work in a very different paradigm.

For one thing, an injury happens in a matter of seconds to minutes. Why wouldn’t you be able to heal it in a matter of seconds to minutes?

If your system creates the emotional piece quickly then it can create a totally different emotional piece equally quickly, yes? Only no one teaches that fact.

Instead, aligning with the default manner of thinking negatively as the defined reality, the thought form states that injuries heal slowly. Hence you hear platitudes like, “Time heals all wounds.”

Is that really how you want to live your life? Not me, thank you very much. And not my clients either.

You get what you expect and, more importantly in this case, what you accept as part of your reality. What I accept is that as Divine Beings (pure energy) living human experiences people can heal by instantly unblocking the energy points that became blocked during the crisis (along with the entire history of blocks that combined to cause the vulnerability to injury).

When I recovered from the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder caused by a physical attack that left me disabled with a brain injury in less than twenty minutes everyone in my energy psychology class accepted that reality as fact. No one was surprised – not really.

Yet when I told the therapists with whom I had previously worked (and found no relief from that condition) they said it was impossible.

I found it so interesting that I healed through energy work that (as I described above) cleared blocks caused by the emotional trauma almost as quickly as the injury happened. Yet not one medical person on my team of mainstream doctors and therapists believed me.

They could see I was better but could not and would not comprehend that I healed for a reason and no miracle had occurred! (The doctor in charge of my case actually wrote, in my medical char, mind you, that my healing was a miracle.)

Talk about what you accept in your reality!

You can continue to wait for time to heal you from the countless stresses that rob your energy and quality of life. Or you can switch paradigms and heal in a matter of minutes.

Phew! I prefer the stress-less route myself.

Relationship Stress in Women Over Forty

Women over forty often have a surprisingly different view of relationships than they did at younger ages. And that view differs drastically from that of men – which you might expect.

Polls show that nearly half of women over forty have no desire to get into another serious committed relationship like marriage after leaving a long time marriage. They actually feel content to be independent and just meet with or go out with guys when they feel like it.

After taking care of others all their lives women often look forward to having no responsibilities toward anyone but themselves. Ah! Freedom rings loud and clear – finally.

Interestingly, younger women, not having had all those years of experience and pressure as caretaker and compromiser, often wonder why their older friend has no interest in dating.

The fact is most women, at least in my experience, say that (after leaving an unhappy marriage) they have no interest in even looking for another guy. If one comes along they may be interested, they say, but go out purposely and spend time and energy looking to date? No thank you!

I offer another piece of wisdom on behalf of more mature women (is that euphemism or what?). You attract who you are, right? After leaving a marriage that possibly lasted most of her life, a women in her forties may realize she is not living her purpose or fulfilling her own desires – because she never had time to determine what either is for her.

First you need to decide who you want to be in life. Or you can work backwards and choose what you want to have. Then determine what you need to be able to do so you can have that result. Finally you need to figure out what kind of person takes those necessary actions.

So before going out looking for a man, I advise you to know who you are or, at least know who you want to be and then become that person. Because you will attract someone at your current level of vibration and experience make certain you love you exactly as you are and are living life as you want to first.

That way when you put out your request to meet your guy you will attract someone you actually do want in your life.

That step is critical. I didn’t know about it after my divorce so I wound up dating some guys who were very nice but hey—not anyone I had any interest in at all.

I am so clear that I am still becoming and not where I want to be in my own life yet. So I am not making any great effort to meet anyone and crate a relationship. I enjoy being on my own so much I am not sure if I will ever want to compromise how I live again.