Stress: Communicate With Yourself to Avoid Stress

You experience stress because you interpret some event as causing you grief, pressure, overwhelm or some form of discomfort and unhappiness. Well, how do you know what you are going through is, in fact, stressful for you?

You tell you what makes you feel ARGH! Nobody else tells you how to feel. You decide when an event happens that you will feel bad, worried, scared, etc.

All those decisions happen automatically. Your alert subconscious mind runs your show repeating past patterns rather then stopping and asking, “Is it in my highest and best interest to act this way in this situation?”

Hmm. What do you suppose would happen if, instead of blindly performing action A when circumstance A presents itself you instead stepped back and took a moment to look for and consider new and different ways to act in that exact same situation?

You would have to talk to yourself to make that happen. So how do you talk to yourself?

Chances are you would carry on a conversation with the Little Voice that resides in your primitive brain where survival is key. That is a hint. That part of you is all about surviving and keeping you safe. It makes sure you do not take risks.

Which all boils down to repeating the same actions you have always done and not trying new things.

Does that make sense – to follow rules and safety measures established for a child to run you as a grown adult? How can that be?

Let’s say you do question your activity and automatic responses. You know that you carry on a conversation with that Little Voice in your head.

As a matter of fact you are listening to that Little Voice right now. It never stops chatting and running you – unless and until you choose stop it. Yes. You do have the power to stop its rants and cancel its opinions.

Right about now that Little Voice is telling to stop reading this article. OR it is agreeing with parts of this information telling you what is wrong with the rest.

Do you hear it? Your habit is to listen to what it says rather than just pay attention and stay present to what is going on in the moment now. That Little Voice runs a constant commentary on everything about your life as you try to experience the actual moment.

The only way to take a real hard look at which behaviors still fit for you and improve your life today is to shut off that Little Voice.

Want to know how to stop that constant commentary? You simply say, “Thank you for sharing.”

The Little Voice will stop – for the time being. It will pick up again later. So you just repeat the words, “Thank you for sharing.”

In the silence you can explore the possibilities that now elude you. Remember that anything is possible when you know that truth.

Stressed Out At Forty-Something: What Does A Divorced Or Unhappy Married Woman Do

Many women find their lives turned upside-down, at least internally, when they hit their forties. They enter the zone known as the midlife crisis.

What is a midlife crises and why do so many women find themselves amidst the stress and unhappiness of that situation?

Mainstream psychology offers an explanation that women who never went through a rebellious period during their teens are now ready to release all their frustrations and ask the questions they, until now, buried out of their awareness for fear of rocking the boat in their lives.

Most women, across cultures, are raised to take care of the world, to be there for everybody else. If you are one of them then you know that any time you did something that even remotely alluded to you taking a moment for yourself while others had needs was deemed to be completely selfish and wrong.

Even being sick is not an excuse for shirking your responsibilities.

Your spouse gets sick and stays in bed letting you wait on him, right? But you get the flu with a fever and you are up making everybody’s meals and making sure they get where they need to be with the supplies they need regardless of a raging fever, aches or pains.

You know what I am talking about, don’t you? You’ve been there. The sad part is you’ve been there more than once.

Maybe that is why women with kids get sick less often. Who has the time to work with lower energy or confused thinking? It just is not worth the struggle. So does that mean extra pressure and responsibility is a natural immune booster?

Hardly. All that stress builds up in your system eventually leading to illness or conditions that run the gamut across mental and physical issues.

How many women do you know who dealt with cancer—of feminine organs? Breast cancer happens to women who never took the time or energy to nurture themselves, to feed their own desires?

The ovarian and cervical cancers often reveal a lack of giving birth to one’s own ideas and desires for their own personal lives.

Do you see the connection?

Midlife hits many women hard, marking the passage of time spent without paying attention to one’s own life and needs. It is the time to question what is your life about? What is your purpose here? Is this all there is?

Spiritual questions adds to the physical and emotional exhaustion of running on high for so many years without refueling spent energy.

Unfortunately most women will fail to take notice or step out of their serfdom and take charge of who they are until they create a crisis. Hence the midlife crisis becomes that moment of truth.

How will you live the rest of your life differently? Will you live at all?

Stress Relief: The Single Technique that Relieves Stress Faster (No kidding)

Stress takes its toll on people. Successful people use  a specific technique that relieves stress and leads to success across one’s life.

What is that technique? Make your decision quickly and stick to it.

Successful people are known to make decisions quickly and then rarely change their minds. When they do change, they do so slowly and deliberately.

How dos that habit relieve stress?

When you hve a choice to make and you linger over what to do, which path to follow, what goes on in your mind? You probably feel a need to gather as much information as possible to make sure you make the right decisions for you.

That information gathering stage expands. You want to make sure you do not miss anything.

For most people they make lists: one of the advantages and one of the disadvantages of each choice. So they expend energy looking for what could go wrong and what might be missing as well as what could go right.

There is another way to use your energy, a faster way that works more reliably.

Picture the desired outcome of making this decision. What do you want your world to look like because you decided ABC? Write all the results that will come of this choice. Go into great detail.

Now that you created that list of the scenario you want to live put it out to the Universe.
Put it out to the Universe? What does that mean?

Meditate on your list of desired outcomes. OR visualize them. Or best choice – virtualize them.

New York Times best selling author, Robert G. Allen, coined the word virtualizing. It goes beyond visualizing boosting your power to manifest what you want faster and easier.

To virtualize you go inside, behind your eyes and look out at the world you desire (pretend your desired outcome already happened). Do not watch yourself in a movie. See what you see walking in and acting in this movie. The set is in your imagination, okay?

What do you see? Notice the rich colors, patterns, view, etc. all the details of the place you find yourself. Feel what you are walking or sitting on. Notice textures and scents. Maybe you want to grab a glass of water. Feel yourself pouring it from a pitcher and then enjoy it trickling down your throat.

Hear what you hear in that situation. Feel what you feel. Create your virtual world as a real world already in existence. Because, frankly, as soon as you request it that possiblity exists as a reality for you. All you need to do is learn how to take the action to make it real,

Continue to virtualize that experience to speed its manifestation. You will manifest the decision you made faster and easier than you could have by any other means. Oh yes and this one will likely remain a constant in your life.

Relationship Stress Relief For Forty-Something Women: Create Only Satisfying Relationships

Would you experience less stress in life if you knew how to create only relationships that satisfy your needs? For most women in their forties the obvious and immediate response is, “Of course.”

Okay, so here you are, divorced or in an unhappy marriage. You feel like you have to take part in relationships to play the games according to the rules of life.

Did you ever wonder who wrote the rules and why you feel a need to follow them?

The fact is you do not need to do what others tell you to do – implicitly or otherwise. You spent so many years doing what was expected of you. You pretended to enjoy the friends and colleagues of your spouse for his sake.

If you are a mom you may have done the same to assist your kids in growing up – made friends and attended social functions with people you may or may not have liked that grew out of our children’s activities.

That is all okay but now you get to be you. YOU get to decide what you want in a relationship. Most importantly, you get to refuse to participate in any and all relationships that fail to meet your specifications.

I love the feeling of being in charge of who I date after my divorce. During 31 plus years of marriage I was very clear on which male behaviors felt good to me and which I really did not like at all.

I never tell the guy I am with how to behave. I just know, inside, I expect certain behaviors that leave me feeling good and significant. And if he fails to act in those ways then that was our last date.

I had zero desire to tell him what was important to me. I am not interested in asking someone to change or pretend to be any way other than how they naturally are. That would be selfish and unfair.

The stress is pretty much gone on my end. I am me. I do not put on any act (not that I ever did in the past) to please someone else. And I expect the same is true for the guys with whom I choose to spend time.

Unlike the pressures and games most of us played during our teen years I just enjoy being with the guys I like to be with. I am not interested in finding my great love. I learned the value of being friends first and if something more comes of that relationship then it happens.

Relationships do not need to be stressful situations. You get to choose how they run and most importantly, with whom.

Create Your Dream Life: 5 Tips To Create Your Dream Life

You really can create your dream life using a simple set of directions. These 5 tips show you just how you can do it.

1. Get a clear picture of how your life and your world will look once you are living your dream life. Really get into the feelings of your new life.
What do you think? What do you see and feel – physically and emotionally? What sounds fill your world?
How about fragrances – what do you smell and taste in your life? What foods delight your senses?

With whom do you share your new life in happiness?

2. Determine the exact outcome you would need to see to reach that final destination. I am talking about the next-to-last outcome. Ask yourself what you would need to have achieved just prior to arriving at your dream life. What would you need to accomplish that specifically caused that final result?

For example, if you want to become a concert musician playing in a famous orchestra you would need to audition for the position. Before that step you would need to know what to prepare for the audition. Immediately before preparation you would want to know which orchestras have an opening for your instrument. Before that step you would need to decide where you are willing to live so you do not waste time auditioning for an orchestra in a city where you have no interest in living or working.

3. Now repeat that exact same process. What you are doing is creating the path you need to follow to create your dream life by working backwards.
Continue that working backwards process until you arrive at your current situation.

Often, when you attempt to plan your future you have no clue where to begin. With this method you already know where you are. More importantly you know where you want to arrive.

Recognizing each accomplishment that must be part of the route to success allows you to lay out a plan that will actually take you where you want to go rather than into dead ends or erroneous zones.
You will no longer waste your time and energy following useless directions that really never stood a chance of taking you where you want to go.

When you begin at your starting point you may go off on detours as obstacles present themselves on your path. (I guarantee you will encounter obstacles en route.) Even worse, you may quit because you see no way around the blocks that appear in your face.

4. Stay focused on your end result. All that matters is your final result. No matter who says what, no matter how easy or challenging your journey, stay focused on the desired end, i.e. your dream life.

Think about hitting a tennis ball. You focus on the spot on the court where you want that ball to land just as you prepare to meet the ball with your racquet. Obviously you keep your eye on the ball as you approach it. Yet you turn your body as you hit it sending it where you want it to land. Same with a baseball, right? Your follow through places your body in alignment with that spot where you want the ball to land.

5. The key to living your dream life is knowing why you want to live that way. When your reason for making your world and life look as you desire becomes your sole/soul focus (you must live in alignment with your soul’s purpose for being in this lifetime) then you create all the motivation you will ever need to break through any obstacle. You will become completely unstoppable!

And when you are ready to create the proven winning habits to create your dream life to live in happiness

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Ali Bierman, Your Guide To Happiness
http://LiveInHappinessNow.com