Category Archives for stress

Stressed Out At Forty-Something: What Does A Divorced Or Unhappy Married Woman Do

Many women find their lives turned upside-down, at least internally, when they hit their forties. They enter the zone known as the midlife crisis.

What is a midlife crises and why do so many women find themselves amidst the stress and unhappiness of that situation?

Mainstream psychology offers an explanation that women who never went through a rebellious period during their teens are now ready to release all their frustrations and ask the questions they, until now, buried out of their awareness for fear of rocking the boat in their lives.

Most women, across cultures, are raised to take care of the world, to be there for everybody else. If you are one of them then you know that any time you did something that even remotely alluded to you taking a moment for yourself while others had needs was deemed to be completely selfish and wrong.

Even being sick is not an excuse for shirking your responsibilities.

Your spouse gets sick and stays in bed letting you wait on him, right? But you get the flu with a fever and you are up making everybody’s meals and making sure they get where they need to be with the supplies they need regardless of a raging fever, aches or pains.

You know what I am talking about, don’t you? You’ve been there. The sad part is you’ve been there more than once.

Maybe that is why women with kids get sick less often. Who has the time to work with lower energy or confused thinking? It just is not worth the struggle. So does that mean extra pressure and responsibility is a natural immune booster?

Hardly. All that stress builds up in your system eventually leading to illness or conditions that run the gamut across mental and physical issues.

How many women do you know who dealt with cancer—of feminine organs? Breast cancer happens to women who never took the time or energy to nurture themselves, to feed their own desires?

The ovarian and cervical cancers often reveal a lack of giving birth to one’s own ideas and desires for their own personal lives.

Do you see the connection?

Midlife hits many women hard, marking the passage of time spent without paying attention to one’s own life and needs. It is the time to question what is your life about? What is your purpose here? Is this all there is?

Spiritual questions adds to the physical and emotional exhaustion of running on high for so many years without refueling spent energy.

Unfortunately most women will fail to take notice or step out of their serfdom and take charge of who they are until they create a crisis. Hence the midlife crisis becomes that moment of truth.

How will you live the rest of your life differently? Will you live at all?

Stress Relief: The Single Technique that Relieves Stress Faster (No kidding)

Stress takes its toll on people. Successful people use  a specific technique that relieves stress and leads to success across one’s life.

What is that technique? Make your decision quickly and stick to it.

Successful people are known to make decisions quickly and then rarely change their minds. When they do change, they do so slowly and deliberately.

How dos that habit relieve stress?

When you hve a choice to make and you linger over what to do, which path to follow, what goes on in your mind? You probably feel a need to gather as much information as possible to make sure you make the right decisions for you.

That information gathering stage expands. You want to make sure you do not miss anything.

For most people they make lists: one of the advantages and one of the disadvantages of each choice. So they expend energy looking for what could go wrong and what might be missing as well as what could go right.

There is another way to use your energy, a faster way that works more reliably.

Picture the desired outcome of making this decision. What do you want your world to look like because you decided ABC? Write all the results that will come of this choice. Go into great detail.

Now that you created that list of the scenario you want to live put it out to the Universe.
Put it out to the Universe? What does that mean?

Meditate on your list of desired outcomes. OR visualize them. Or best choice – virtualize them.

New York Times best selling author, Robert G. Allen, coined the word virtualizing. It goes beyond visualizing boosting your power to manifest what you want faster and easier.

To virtualize you go inside, behind your eyes and look out at the world you desire (pretend your desired outcome already happened). Do not watch yourself in a movie. See what you see walking in and acting in this movie. The set is in your imagination, okay?

What do you see? Notice the rich colors, patterns, view, etc. all the details of the place you find yourself. Feel what you are walking or sitting on. Notice textures and scents. Maybe you want to grab a glass of water. Feel yourself pouring it from a pitcher and then enjoy it trickling down your throat.

Hear what you hear in that situation. Feel what you feel. Create your virtual world as a real world already in existence. Because, frankly, as soon as you request it that possiblity exists as a reality for you. All you need to do is learn how to take the action to make it real,

Continue to virtualize that experience to speed its manifestation. You will manifest the decision you made faster and easier than you could have by any other means. Oh yes and this one will likely remain a constant in your life.

Eliminate Stress: Listen to the Whispers of the Universe

When you pay attention to what goes on in your world every day you begin to notice patterns. Those patterns create unpleasant feelings meant to wake up and notice that something in your life is very off.

In fact that something is all about a big lesson you have been avoiding learning.

The Universe presents that same issue repeatedly. The names and faces will vary but the problem will always carry thecae theme.

Each time you ignore your chance to learn your lesson the Universe throws that issue back at you with a little more impact until finally the magnitude of the pain is not only in your face but it is also too painful to ignore!

These lessons are not about some secret way to behave. Not at all. In fact the opposite is true. You know what you need to do yet continually fail to do what you know you need to do.

Sound familiar yet? Here is an example to clarify what I mean.

When I worked as a psychotherapist in crisis care I knew the facility was not really a safe place. I also knew I often spent more time counseling my co-workers than the clients. Hmm.

Do you see anything off in that situation?

What I needed to do was leave that facility.

I knew I needed to leave. I knew I worked differently than the others and a more creative practice would better suit me. I knew all those facts.

Yet I failed to make any effort to leave. So my colleagues developed more and more problems and the clients grew more dangerous – little by little. Those events were the whispers that I ignored.

Finally the Universe took me out of that place and out of mainstream psychotherapy all together with a definite not subtle act. A client cornered and attacked me leaving me disabled with a brain injury.

You would think I learned not to ignore subtle messages from the Universe after suffering such a traumatic dramatic event, yes? Well, I didn’t.

I moved to farm country over a year ago. Last fall spiders started biting me while I slept.  I am talking very poisonous spiders. I was very sick for a while.
When I saw loads of spiders in the house this summer you’d think I would have packed up and moved away, right? Naw. I hired a pest control company.

Only spiders are not the only problem. Mice are running all over the place. And now moths have begun to attack.

Do you see how the whispers escalated into shouts?
I won’t even tell you the worst incidents—too gross. And still I was not leaving.

Then finally I got it! I started listening to the messages and am looking for a new place to live now.

It took me years to see all the things out here that have been hurting my health and well being. All I saw was the beauty, the calm and the privacy. I missed that my health declined and my stress increased. Duh.

Listen for the whispers to avoid serious pain and overwhelming stress, okay?

Stress and Divorced 40 Something Women

Many divorced 40-something women experience stress in a number of areas. It seems like a mid-life awakening nudges them to move out of the boxes in which they lived, seemingly in safety, all their lives.

If you fall into that category then I have some great news for you.

You see, you never were really comfortable at all. You just did what you knew rather than chance jumping into the unknown. Now you can free yourself from that false sense of security and finally forge a new path, specific to you, that leads you where you want to go.

You may feel uncertain about where you want to go. Actually you do know. You only lack knowing how to get in touch with that information that already lives inside you.

How about taking a brief view of your current circumstances?

Since you chose to read this title you already feel stress in your life. Maybe you are recently divorced after a long marriage. Ii is not uncommon, today, for couples to get divorced after more than thirty years of marriage.

Even if the separation was a mutual agreement and an amicable split you still have feelings to deal with. Those feelings may be in your awareness or maybe you buried them to prevent any further hurt for the time being.

Perhaps this is the first time you are living on your own. As freeing as that sounds it is also limiting. When you need a hug or some help in the middle of the night – you have you to count on to make it through. Well, maybe you have a pet and phone number you can call. The thing is this situation is new for you.

Of course being in a marriage can be more lonely than living on your own. So maybe you already adjusted to being alone. Know what I mean?

Your whole social life may be in a bit of an upheaval. Friends who you enjoyed as a couple may feel uncomfortable being with just you. So there is yet another adjustment to make.

OR you can see that experience as an adventure into new territory and a chance to know new people.

Now that you get to prepare food just for you, you get to do what you want. Ah, and you get to show you how important you are by preparing nice meals – just for you.

It surprises me how many women do not bother, as they say, to prepare luscious fun and elegant dishes just for themselves. Who is worth more in your life than you?

If the response was you do not need or deserve it then you definitely have a lot of stress around self care, self worth and self image.

Add health, if you are moving through the change of life and a new desire to connect with your spiritual side add both to the mix.

Well, no wonder you feel so much stress. But what if you viewed each point as a new beginning into a world of surprises? Whether those surprises feel good or otherwise – well that choice is yours alone to make.

Stress is a choice you make by deciding what feels good and what feels overwhelming and scary.

Stress Or Worry?

How are stress and worry related? The obvious answer is that worry leads to stress.

Well, what exactly is worry? Worry is a fantasy state .To live there you have to go back into your past and pull out a situation then feed (with attention and focus) it to make it real for you.

Your imagination cannot tell the difference between what is real and what is not. So worry seems very real and becomes downright scary. When you take a memory out, feed it and re-live it you add additional energy making it bigger than the regional perceived experience.

In fact, every time you think about that concern you increase its power over you as it looms bugger and bigger and more and more possible in your future. Of course that isn’t the truth unless you choose to make it your truth.

Worry produces all the symptoms you wood if the situation was really happening in the moment. Remember, whatever you experience in your imagination is real for you. So you get sweaty palms and maybe a racing heartbeat, maybe a bit dizzy and hyper.

Okay, so while you experience all those symptoms you stress your body. You succeeded in moving your old memories out of your pest and put them in your present so you can now trick yourself into believing you are doing something to resolve any issues you still carry around as excess baggage.

Worry then results from uprooting unresolved past issues by placing them in your now. Doing so takes a toll on your current emotional and physical states. That toll gets labeled stress.

Stress is the expression of the cumulative effects of worry rather than the source of the painful experience. If worry is the cause then stress is the effect.

Therefore, to eliminate stress you must eliminate the cause, i.e., the worry.

How can you get rid of the worry and therefore the stress too?

The fastest, easiest and permanent way to erase worry involves dislodging the blocks in your energy field that were created by events earlier in life.

Every event, good or bad (which are only your interpretations of meaningless happenings) cause small blocks in your energy body (meridians and chakras and light bodies).
Those blocks fall on very specific points. Each meridian, chakra and light body connects to a specific emotion. Your feelings cause blocks across every emotion involved in the event.

Clearing the blocks energetically is quick and easy – when you work with a specialized kinesiologist who understands how and where you store what.